A Day In the Life of a Public Affairs Officer (Or, Sometimes You Get the Bear, Sometimes the Bear Gets You).

24 July 2013

  

A Day In the Life of a Public Affairs Officer (Or, Sometimes You Get the Bear, Sometimes the Bear Gets You).

Normally as a National Guard Pubic Affairs Officer my job is to tell the Oklahoma Army National Guard story and its Soldiers stories.  It’s a rewarding and enjoyable job most of the time and even when it’s not so fun it’s always worthwhile. But it’s never about me, always the Soldiers and their accomplishments. Today was one of those mixed bag events that I thought I would share.

 One of the things we do is give helicopter rides to soldiers, especially young soldiers just starting their careers. The aircraft crews need the flight hours; its good training for them and the morale boost for the Soldiers is immeasurable. It’s also an opportunity for leaders to see the ground from a different perspective so it has multiple benefits for all involved.

Now I’ve ridden in every helicopter in the Army inventory with more than two seats except the new Lakota. And even though I down-play it because I’m an “old hand” and such things are supposed to be mundane to someone as long in tooth as I am, I still enjoy flying anytime I get the chance.

So, not missing a chance to feed my flying buzz and do my job promoting Soldiers, I hitched a ride in UH60 doing some morale rides. I figure I can get some photos of the Soldiers and their reactions to what is probably their first ride, for some, in any kind of aircraft.  And the pilots never disappoint.  However, I failed to take into account this particular bird is flying with the doors open. While I’ve ridden in UH60s with the windows out, I now know there’s a BIG difference in airflow in the cabin without the doors.  I failed to consider this difference. And, naturally, wanting to get the best shots I grabbed a rear seat next to the door.  There had been a warning about Soldiers on the previous lifts loosing their eye protection. Well, being an “old hand” I decide to keep my glasses on (I kinda need them to see). 

As soon as the bird lifts off I’m immediately smacked in the face by the combined rotor wash and slip stream. I don’t know the speed of the airflow but it was an assault the likes of which I’ve never experienced, and hope never to again. Apparently the right rear seat is also the nexus of the wind vortex from hell. Not long into the flight, I don’t really know when, I notice I’m no longing wearing those glasses I was so sure would stay put.

 If you ever seen the news reel footage from the 1950s of the guy on a rocket sled with his facial skin flapping like a flag in the breeze you know what I suspect I looked like. It was certainly how I felt.  But I’ve got a job to do so I’m trying to shoot photos, both inside and outside the aircraft. .  The view outside is going by in a blur, literally, of alternating images of emerald green and brilliant white clouds in a dazzling blue sky.  And dazzling it was because those glasses that just went on a tour of the countryside were prescription sunglasses.

At this point any attempt at making adjustments to the camera are futile as resisting the Borg from Star Trek.  If I stare at the settings for more than five seconds my stomach wants to come up and see what my inner ear is doing.  So I resort to just point the thing around the cabin and hoping for the best. Any attempt at communication is pointless because every time I open my mouth my checks inflate like an airbag in a car wreck (that guy in the newsreels again).  Now I understand why dogs drool when they stick their heads out of car windows, they don’t have a choice.

Then helicopter decided to undress me.

I looked down and my uniform top has billowed open and the zipper is down to seat strap buckle. So I zip it back up. And the rotor wash/slipstream duo immediately unzips my top again. So I zip it back up again. I guess I made the Wind Gods mad with my obstinate refusal to get undressed and the next thing I know the top is completely unzipped and smacking the young Private next to me.  Also, somewhere along the way my mechanical pencil has joined the birds and my card key that had been clipped to my shoulder pocket has gone on a tour of the aircraft floor. 

I spent the rest of the flight cramming my top under the restraint straps, madly re closing the Velcro fasteners on my sleeve cuffs and, oh yeah, trying to get some shots.  I finally gave in. I figured I had enough shaky shots of guys who were switching between trying to take cell phone photos, squinting, and wondering what the heck I’m doing.  But the whole time those young Soldiers (and a couple of older ones) were grinning from ear to ear.  And as expected, the pilots didn’t disappoint.  No amusement park ride is as good as being in a helicopter when aviators are doing their stuff. 

But at the end of the ride, after I collected myself and put my uniform straight, I was rewarded with three young Soldiers, who’d just had the thrill of their lives, excitedly tell me what I already knew: “That was awesome!”  One even told me, “I saw your glasses go flying by my face, Sir. At least that’s what I think that was.”  And of course they wanted to know where they could get copies of the photos I’d shot, and I told them how that would be possible when I got them downloaded. Though I fear they may be a bit disappointed with a couple of the photos.

So, for me, it may have been the least enjoyable ride in my 23 years Army service. But was it worth it? You bet.  Especially to give those young Soldiers some keepsakes they’ll share for the rest of their lives, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.  And if you are ever at the Camp Gruber Joint Maneuver Training center in Braggs, Oklahoma, and you find a pair of prescription sunglasses, you’ll know to whom they belong.

I have the best job in the Army.