24 July 2013
A Day In the Life of a Public Affairs Officer (Or, Sometimes
You Get the Bear, Sometimes the Bear Gets You).
Normally as a National Guard Pubic Affairs Officer my job is
to tell the Oklahoma Army National Guard story and its Soldiers stories. It’s a rewarding and enjoyable job most
of the time and even when it’s not so fun it’s always worthwhile. But it’s
never about me, always the Soldiers and their accomplishments. Today was one of
those mixed bag events that I thought I would share.
One of the
things we do is give helicopter rides to soldiers, especially young soldiers
just starting their careers. The aircraft crews need the flight hours; its good
training for them and the morale boost for the Soldiers is immeasurable. It’s
also an opportunity for leaders to see the ground from a different perspective
so it has multiple benefits for all involved.
Now I’ve ridden in every helicopter in the Army inventory
with more than two seats except the new Lakota. And even though I down-play it
because I’m an “old hand” and such things are supposed to be mundane to someone
as long in tooth as I am, I still enjoy flying anytime I get the chance.
So, not missing a chance to feed my flying buzz and do my
job promoting Soldiers, I hitched a ride in UH60 doing some morale rides. I
figure I can get some photos of the Soldiers and their reactions to what is
probably their first ride, for some, in any kind of aircraft. And the pilots never disappoint. However, I failed to take into account
this particular bird is flying with the doors open. While I’ve ridden in UH60s
with the windows out, I now know there’s a BIG difference in airflow in the
cabin without the doors. I failed
to consider this difference. And, naturally, wanting to get the best shots I
grabbed a rear seat next to the door.
There had been a warning about Soldiers on the previous lifts loosing
their eye protection. Well, being an “old hand” I decide to keep my glasses on
(I kinda need them to see).
As soon as the bird lifts off I’m immediately smacked in the
face by the combined rotor wash and slip stream. I don’t know the speed of the
airflow but it was an assault the likes of which I’ve never experienced, and
hope never to again. Apparently the right rear seat is also the nexus of the
wind vortex from hell. Not long into the flight, I don’t really know when, I
notice I’m no longing wearing those glasses I was so sure would stay put.
If you ever
seen the news reel footage from the 1950s of the guy on a rocket sled with his
facial skin flapping like a flag in the breeze you know what I suspect I looked
like. It was certainly how I felt.
But I’ve got a job to do so I’m trying to shoot photos, both inside and
outside the aircraft. . The view
outside is going by in a blur, literally, of alternating images of emerald
green and brilliant white clouds in a dazzling blue sky. And dazzling it was because those
glasses that just went on a tour of the countryside were prescription sunglasses.
At this point any attempt at making adjustments to the
camera are futile as resisting the Borg from Star Trek. If I stare at the settings for more
than five seconds my stomach wants to come up and see what my inner ear is
doing. So I resort to just point
the thing around the cabin and hoping for the best. Any attempt at
communication is pointless because every time I open my mouth my checks inflate
like an airbag in a car wreck (that guy in the newsreels again). Now I understand why dogs drool when
they stick their heads out of car windows, they don’t have a choice.
Then helicopter decided to undress me.
I looked down and my uniform top has billowed open and the
zipper is down to seat strap buckle. So I zip it back up. And the rotor
wash/slipstream duo immediately unzips my top again. So I zip it back up again.
I guess I made the Wind Gods mad with my obstinate refusal to get undressed and
the next thing I know the top is completely unzipped and smacking the young
Private next to me. Also, somewhere
along the way my mechanical pencil has joined the birds and my card key that
had been clipped to my shoulder pocket has gone on a tour of the aircraft
floor.
I spent the rest of the flight cramming my top under the
restraint straps, madly re closing the Velcro fasteners on my sleeve cuffs and,
oh yeah, trying to get some shots.
I finally gave in. I figured I had enough shaky shots of guys who were
switching between trying to take cell phone photos, squinting, and wondering
what the heck I’m doing. But the
whole time those young Soldiers (and a couple of older ones) were grinning from
ear to ear. And as expected, the
pilots didn’t disappoint. No
amusement park ride is as good as being in a helicopter when aviators are doing
their stuff.
But at the end of the ride, after I collected myself and put
my uniform straight, I was rewarded with three young Soldiers, who’d just had
the thrill of their lives, excitedly tell me what I already knew: “That was
awesome!” One even told me, “I saw
your glasses go flying by my face, Sir. At least that’s what I think that
was.” And of course they wanted to
know where they could get copies of the photos I’d shot, and I told them how
that would be possible when I got them downloaded. Though I fear they may be a
bit disappointed with a couple of the photos.
So, for me, it may have been the least enjoyable ride in my
23 years Army service. But was it worth it? You bet. Especially to give those young Soldiers some keepsakes
they’ll share for the rest of their lives, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. And if you are ever at the Camp Gruber
Joint Maneuver Training center in Braggs, Oklahoma, and you find a pair of
prescription sunglasses, you’ll know to whom they belong.
I have
the best job in the Army.
Posts
